quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
