All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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