Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
