I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
