Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
