D3 body, D1 cock
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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