im six kinds of drunk right now
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize