new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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