I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
