You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
