Acid is not a monday night drug
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
