Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
