didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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