make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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