Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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