Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
It was a blind-side dick pic.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
