the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize