her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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