she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
