Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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