I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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