Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
