The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
