He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
