My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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