Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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