Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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