I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
