I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You were trust falling into bushes
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
