dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
