And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
