when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
