Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You made out with two different species that night
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
