I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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