They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
