I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
