that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize