sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
