I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
