I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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