What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Can I color on your dick again?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
