My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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