Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
