Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
