the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
