Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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