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Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
