i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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