what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
