I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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