My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
