I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
