Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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