i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize