Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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