every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
