Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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