No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize