babies were throwing up all over the place
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Randomize
