i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
