I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
