I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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