What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
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