Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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