You just made me feel so damn special
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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