where does the pee come out of this thing
My pussy is not your playground.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
