I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
